Snoopy and Mr Kat: unreachable home
by Italian schizoid boy
Summary: These two aliens have finally stopped fighting and formed an alliance, but they're still too far away from home... and too close to troubles! Will their courage and their strenght lead them to their planets?
1. Recap

This story, which is a collaborative effort with the user A. Fox, is chronologically set after the end of "Snoopy vs Kat". Do you remember what happened in that story?

Snoopy had just turned his doghouse into a spaceship, when suddenly Mr. Kat arrived and tried to steal it.

"Sorry kitty, that cannot fly yet! It still needs its fuel! Now get off your claws from my spaceship!" "OK... but you're gonna beg me to get off my claws from your dog butt!" And a furious fight started.

Both the animals turned out to be incredibly strong and agile. Snoopy fought with a lightsaber and Kat with a Samurai sword.

The fight suddenly moved to the mountains outside the town, and there Mr. Kat turned out to be a cyborg when Snoopy sliced away his arm exposing sparkling wires.

"Are you... an android?" "No, doggy. I'm a cyborg, it's different. Well, I'm approximately 70% robot, but my skin, my left eye, my brains and my lungs are still organic. Even if my brains are connected with two motherboards..." "What?!? You have more than one brain?" "Yeah. So you have only one? Then you're obsolete!"

The fight resumed, but still none of them seemed to be able to defeat the opponent.

Suddenly, Kat started to yell and complain about the troubles he met in planet Earth, revealing that he was also an alien.

During the last part of the fight, Kat managed to hit Snoopy's arm with his claws and it was then revealed that the beagle was an alien cyborg himself. The two aliens decided that fight was useless, they had to form an alliance to go back to each other's planet. So they finished the spaceship together and prepared to take off. But something didn't work and the spaceship started vibrating without leaving...

"Uh-oh!" "Oh, no! You said two of the most disturbing words ever! Now please, don't say those even more disturbing words!" "Something's wrong." "You said them! Oh, no! No, no, no, no, no!"

Suddenly, the spaceship totally stopped moving. "Oh, great! The spaceship is destroyed, we're never gonna leave this horrible planet!" "Could you please calm down, kitty? Now let's go outside and see if there's something broken."

And outside there was a big surprise: the two alien animals were in front of a gate which read "Barkham Asylum"...

What kind of adventures are waiting for our two heroes? Will they ever manage to go back home once and for all? Find it out in this new story!


	2. Barkham Asylum, part I

For about a minute, Snoopy and Mr. Kat could only stand still and look at the "Barkham Asylum" script.

"OK... what shall we do now?" Kat asked. "Let's go and explore. It's the only thing we can do." Snoopy answered.

When they stopped watching the script, they noticed that the gate was opened and beyond the fence there was a big and disturbing building surrounded by an incredibly huge squad of policemen. Probably something quite serious was happening...

The two alien cyborgs came closer and noticed something very weird: the police squad was a mixture of human beings and humanoid animals! Among the cops there were anthropomorphic dogs, cats, cheetahs, monkeys and many more!

"Oh, God!" Kat mewed "This reminds me of a research made by the major university in Cat Nebula: they talked about parallel universes... we might actually live in a "multiverse" instead of an only universe. There might be more than one planet Earth, there might be alternate versions of the planet we crashed in where many things are different, including the story of the world. Well, we're probably seeing with our eyes the proof that all this things are real! They also described a hypotetical Earth-53 where human beings and humanoid animals coexist!"

"The theory you described is actually quite wacky" Snoopy said "But I cannot think about anything more reliable than this. I'll trust you, after all Cat Nebula has always been famous because of its genial scientists and universities. Either way, something inside of me tells me that we have to ask what's wrong in that asylum and possibly do what we can to help."

"Err... don't you think this is quite dangerous?"

"It sure is, but believe me, the istintuality of my race is often worth trusting, it almost always brings you to the best solutions! And after all we don't have that much to fear, together we're true power!"

"You're right! Let's kick some butt!"

Made strong by their vanity, the two heroes from another world approached a policeman (no, a "policedog") and asked him what was going on.

The "policedog" was kinda surprised to see a talking "non-anthro" doggy who walked on two legs! "Hey! Are you a result of some of the new genetical experiments?" he asked.

Snoopy answered: "Well, no. Actually our story is pretty weird and we're still not sure it's even real. It's a long story anyway. Now tell me sir, what's going on here?"

"OK. Barkham Asylum is full of very dangerous criminals and a mass breakout has been organized! Battiger went inside of there to stop it, but almost two hours have passed and we're starting to believe he's been captured!"

"Who is Battiger?"

"He's a lone hero who acts in the shadow. A sort of superhero with no superhuman powers. He's a tiger dressed like a bat who fights the criminals, nobody knows who he really is."

"Oh yeah, I understood what kind of guy he is. Well, we're willing to help you! We'll get inside, beat bad guys up and save Battiger!"

"Are you sure? You're both pretty small, this is something too big for you! You can't handle this! Behind those walls it's full of powerful, dangerous and insane people!"

Mr. Kat started meowing. The cop didn't undersand a word. Snoopy translated for him: "Mr. Kat said: just give us a chance and we will show how powerful we actually are!"

The policedog laboriously repressed a big laugh. "OK then boys, I think I cannot stop you. Go ahead. And don't say I didn't warn you."

In the blink of an eye, Kat and Snoopy were in front of the wall. Kat used his corrosive saliva to make a hole big enough to allow them both to pass. They creeped inside.

The infiltrates got into an empty cell. The door was open, the prisoners had already escaped. Outside there was an empty, dark and very large corridor.

"It looks kinda quiet..." Kat whispered "Let's proceed carefully. The guys we have to fight might be anywhere and this darkness sure doesn't help us."

Slowly and carefully, the two animals walked across the long corridor, doing their best to be silent and invisible. Suddenly, Snoopy stopped and raised a long black ear. "What's up?" Kat asked "I'm hearing a noise" the beagle answered "It sounds like... the motor of an approaching vehicle!"

Shortly after, they both could see two lanterns coming towards them and a large van came out from the darkness. The driver was a muscular humanoid toad, Mr. Toad. He yelled: "Finally some intruders to crush!" The van accelerated and ran towards Snoopy and Kat.

Snoopy stepped ahead and rose an arm, like a policeman who was ordering to stop. The van crashed on Snoopy's paw and the effect was this: the dog didn't move at all while the van was almost destroyed and its driver flew in the air and fell on the ground!

Snoopy, with his arm still touching the damaged van, laughed and said mockingly: "Driving inside is not prudent! Didn't anyone teach you this, frog?"

"I'm a toad, you little pest!" Mr. Toad replied "I'm going to crush you both like the miserable bugs you are!"

Mr. Kat hissed and his eyes enlightened. He hated being called a bug! He showed his very long claws and pounced on the green creature, who could only scream because of pain and surprise. When Kat stopped moving and stood on two paws with an angry expression, Toad was on the ground, full of scratches. "You can just stay there and enjoy the show, Snoopy" Kat said "I'll take care of this weirdo!"

Mr. Toad got up and tried to fight the strange cat, but his enemy was much faster and his hits were kinda strong for such a small creature; and the fact Kat was smaller actually favored him, he could climb Mr. Toad and make unexpected moves.

Toad tried to use his brutality and his strength, but Kat was more agile, he fought with spectacular kung fu moves. Suddenly, the alien cat slid between his adversary's legs, jumped and kicked Mr. Toad in the back of his head, making him fall unconscious. Mr. Kat smiled and said: "Who's the bug now?"

Snoopy raised an ear again. "What do you hear now?" Kat asked. "Steps! Someone's coming!" the dog answered.

A new enemy showed up: he was an anthropomorphic pig dressed like a surgeon. "*Oink!* What have you done to one of my best men? You're gonna pay for this!"

"And who are you supposed to be? Dr. Salami?" Snoopy said. Kat laughed hysterically.

"I'm Dr. Pyg! *Oink!*" the swine answered "I'm the genius of the body, *oink!* the one who brings people to perfection!"

"If this green dude was one of your creations, then you really need to improve yourself..."

"Shut up, doggy! You won't have the force to kid me around again after your meeting with my Pyg Dolls!" Dr. Pyg took a little whistle. He played it and seven disturbing humanoid pigs came out from the darkness. They all looked the same, their faces were evidently modified surgically and they sure had been lobotomized too.

"*Oink!* And that's not all!" Pyg exclaimed "You still have to see the rest of my wonderful Circus of Strange!" He played another whistle which made a different sound.

Pyg said: "Let me introduce you: Big Top!" A ridicolously obese hippo in a tutu armed with a small bazooka appeared. Every jumpy step he (or she?) took made the ground tremble.

"Siam!" Three siam cats came out from the darkness. Their bodies were totally conjoined, just like... siamese twins!

"And, last but not the least, Phosphorus Rex!" Something brought much more light in the dark corridor: it was an anthropomorphic T-Rex (actually much smaller than the ones you see in the movies) whose body was totally covered in flames! But, strangely, his elegant clothes seemed to be intact.

Dr. Pyg ordered: "Pyg Dolls! Let's teach this annoying dog a lesson! Everyone else take care of the purple kitten!"

The mad surgeon took a gun and tried to shoot Snoopy, but the beagle avoided the bullet. Then all the seven Pyg Dolls were on him, hitting much harder than Snoopy expected.

Meanwhile, Mr. Kat was facing Siam, Big Top and Phosphorus Rex. The three siamese cats said simultaneously (and mischievously): "Too bad we gotta crush a brother of ours! Oh well, job is job!"

"Size doesn't matter" Kat answered "I'll be the one crushing all of you!"

Siam could understand cat language, so he (or they?) answered mewing: "You sure like saying stupid things. There's not only size to disadvantage you: we're also more numerous! Have you noticed that?"

Phosphorus Rex roared: "Stop chatting! Let's fight!"

The flaming dinosaur tried to charge Mr. Kat, but the purple cat made an incredible jump, landed right on the face of Big Top and immediately covered the hippo's eyes. Big Top screamed and, taken over by confusion, he (or she?) accidentally shot with his bazooka several times, almost making his (or her?) companions explode.

"Be careful, dummy!" Rex yelled "He's on your face! Grab him! Can't you?"

One of the missiles accidentally shot had exploded very close to the Pyg Dolls, distracting them and allowing Snoopy to counter-attack with kicks, punches and head butts. After the beagle had defeated the last two Pyg Dolls making their heads clash, there were only him and Dr. Pyg. The insane hog shot Snoopy repeatedly, but the dog nimbly dodged all the bullets.

Snoopy rapidly reached Pyg, punched his large belly and, as soon as the surgeon bent because of his pain, he hit his snout with his head. Dr. Pyg fainted, unconscious and defeated.

In the meantime, Kat punched Big Top's head and the hippo started swinging in an alarming way. "Oh, no!" Siam exclaimed "Big Top's going to fall! Everyone stay away!"

Mr. Kat got down and kicked Phosphorus Rex (on his back, where he had no flames because of the nonflammable clothes), sending him under the falling obese hippo. The fat beast fell on the flaming T-Rex, making him lose consciousness. Big Top awakened and got up crying: "My back! My back is on fire! It burns it burns it buuurns!" The hippo ran away and disappeared in the darkness.

"I guess you're the last weirdo standing!" Snoopy said to Siam.

"But then we'll be able to say: 'and then there were none'!" Mr. Kat mewed

Siam replied: "Foolish idiots! We're still three against two! We're attached, OK, but we also can see both of you simultaneously because of the way our creator conjoined us! The time for you to sing victory has not come yet!"

Snoopy said: "You seem to be kinda proud of your complexity. Well, you're going to owe me a big favour!"

The beagle pounced upon Siam and fastly tied the three cat twins'tails and paws (hind and front) into a knot, making them unable to move. "Snoopy was right" Kat said "Now you're even more complex!" The knotted twins yelled at their enemies with anger.

Snoopy detached a nearby pillar and gave it to Mr. Kat. "Take it, pal! This is gonna make a very good baseball bat to play... 'cat baseball'" He winked. Kat got it immediately and grinned.

The dog lifted Siam with his right paw and said: "Come on, batscat! Let's see if you can catch this!"

He launched that sort of living ball and Mr. Kat hit it with the pillar. "Ball!" he exclaimed.

Siam was sent flying through the ceiling (breaking it) and into Gotham City, making the cops outside a pretty weird surprise.

When the conjoined cats finally landed, they eventually managed to get untied. While they were thinking about a tremendous revenge, they heard an angry growl and a mad homeless humanoid (and muscular) pit bull came out. One of the three twins shouted: "Ruuuuun!" The other two immediately repeated and Siam ran away the fastest he (or they?) could, chased by the pit bull.

At the Barkham Asylum, Snoopy and Mr. Kat celebrated their victory. "That wasn't so hard, was it, Kat?" "Actually it was quite fun! Come on, let's fight some more!"


	3. Barkham Asylum, part II

The two heroes proceeded their walk across that huge and creepy building. At the end of the corridor there was a cafeteria. There they found two obese seals who seemed to be trying to steal every edible thing.

"Hey there, big guys!" Snoopy said "Why don't you eat each other? You would be dead, but finally sated!"

"Tweedledee! There's a canine pest who likes fooling around!" the first seal exclaimed "And there's a weird feline thing with him!"

"Let's liquidate them, Tweedledum!" the second seal yelled.

Tweedledee took what seemed to be an electrified cane and faced Snoopy and Tweedledum tried to kill Mr. Kat with a revolver.

Naturally, Kat easily avoided the bullets and meanwhile he danced and laughed at the fat seal. While Tweedledum was reloading, the purple cat shot a ray from his eye and made the gun fall from the seal's fin, then he knocked his enemy down with a spinning kick.

Snoopy caught Tweedledee electrified cane with his left paw, which immediately absorbed the electricity. The seal was quite shocked. Snoopy grinned and released the electricity he accumulated inside his robotic paw, making Tweedledee faint.

"Oh, come on! This was so easy... too easy!" Mr. Kat complained.

Snoopy didn't answer. He stood still and assumed his "I hear something" pose. "What do your Darmaskanian ears hear?" Kat asked. "Someone's in danger! Over there! Let's go!" They both ran towards the direction indicated by Snoopy.

In a nearby room they found a humanoid vixen dressed like a cat who was fighting against some villains using her considerable agility and a black whip; she was very close to her defeat and she needed help.

After being hit by a bull dressed like a masked wrestler, the vixen collapsed and a kangaroo who wore a strange armour with a bucket-like helmet approached to her. "I guess it's time to finish you, baby" he said making a gun spin in his hand. Mr. Kat hit the kangaroo's paw with a flying kick, making the gun fly away. "I guess not!" Snoopy exclaimed.

Kat said in feline language to the vixen: "Don't worry, we're gonna help you" Strangely, she seemed to understand him...

A hound in a bat-suit appeared and said: "Well well well, it looks like we have two more ticks to deal with! We are the Club of Villains: Le Bossu…" A skunk dressed as a hunchback said: "C'est moi!" "Pierrot Lunaire…" A mouse dressed as a mime pointed a finger towards Snoopy and Kat without making any sound "King Kraken..." A squid with a helmet full of water and a sort of electric rifle made some bubbles come out of his beak "Charlie Caligula..." A hawk dressed as Julius Caesar saluted like an ancient roman "El Sombrero..." The masked bull growled "Scorpiana…" A female scorpion snapped her claws "Swagman..." The kangaroo-gunman showed off his guns "And finally me, Doctor Hurt!"

"Finally presentations are over!" Snoopy exclaimed "I was going to fall asleep!" Dr. Hurt replied: "Shut your mouth, puppy! Swagman, Caligula, Kraken, let's kick the beagle's butt! Scorpiana, kill Catvixen once and for all, everyone else take care of the bald cat!"

Hurt threw some bat-shaped knives to Snoopy; the dog dodged with a jump, but then he was electrified by King Kraken's weapon and he fainted. "Let me finish this odd, boss!" Caligula said, extracting his sword "_Mors cani_! ("death to the dog" in latin)" "All right Charlie, let's have a beagle skewer for dinner!" Hurt chuckled. The hawk moved his sword to stab Snoopy, but suddenly the alien dog's paw grabbed Caligula's wing right when the sword was getting very close to his belly, then the other paw punched Caligula's beak. The humanoid bird flew (without moving his wings) and hit the wall, losing consciousness.

"Oh my God, nobody ever regained consciousness so fast after being hit by Kraken's rifle!" Swagman said "But my bullets don't lie, cause they don't stun, they kill!" He shot, but it was no use.

Meanwhile, Pierrot Lunaire was walking on Mr. Kat's body (he was anthropomorphic, but still quite small), tickling him and distracting him. Le Bossu took advantage of this and sprayed his stinky liquid from his tail right on Kat's muzzle. The purple Kat wrinkled his nose and fainted. Le Bossu said: "Adieu, monsieur chat! Time to mourir!" He raised the chains he was holding and prepared to hit Kat, but all of a sudden the feline creature's hind paw violently hit the Skunk's groin! Le Bossu groaned in pain and bent down with his hand on his testicles, then the last thing he saw before fainting was Kat's head coming to clash against his.

Kat made a provocative "Come here" gesture to the mouse in front of him, who angrily raised his fist.

Catvixen and Scorpiana were fighting furiously. The female scorpion often tried to shoot the vixen some poisonous darts, but Catvixen always dodged them with lightning and agile moves and when Scorpiana tried to use her tail, her enemy grabbed it with her whip, preventing it from hitting her.

El Sombrero was supposed to fight against Mr. Kat, but instead he was staring at the two female fighters. He just couldn't help it. He soon got lost in his vouyeristic fantasies and he couldn't stop. Dr. Hurt would have slapped his face immediately, but he was too busy with Snoopy.

King Kraken tried to stun Snoopy again, but when his casket was destroyed by the beagle with a punch, he cried "Water! I need wateeer!" and ran to a nearby restroom to use his powerful weapon to destroy a WC and dig a way to the sewers, where he avoided to drown just in time.

Swagman ran out of bullets, and while he was reloading Snoopy jumped on his shoulders and violently punched his head. The kangaroo's hard helmet was useless against Snoopy's bionic paw and so he was easily knocked out too.

Mr. Kat easily prevailed on Pierrot Lunaire: during the fight, he managed to grasp the mouse's smooth tail, made the mime spin around and then dropped him.

El Sombrero was still enjoying the cat fight, but then he felt that someone behind him was whistling. As he turned around, Mr. Kat jumped and hit him with a flying kick.

Scorpiana had ran out of poisonous darts, but she still had some somniferous ones, but trying to use them was a bad idea, because Catvixen finally managed to do something she was trying to do from the beginning of the fight: she hit the darts with her whip and made them hit the scorpion, putting her to sleep.

Poor Dr. Hurt... he was alone against three extremely strong enemies! He tried to hit Snoopy with the knives he had on his glove, but the dog caught his arm and made him fly towards Kat, who punched him and made him fly towards Catvixen, who kicked him and made him fly towards Snoopy...

The same scene repeated for three times, until Catvixen grabbed the hound's neck and slammed him to the ground yelling: "You're going down, sweetie!" The Club of Villains was finished. Another fight was over. Snoopy's last comment about it was: "I've never played such a fun pinball game!"

Kat went to the only adversary who was indeed defeated but not knocked out yet, and the one he could easily manipulate for natural reasons: Pierrot Lunaire, the mime mouse.

The cybernetic alien cat grasped Pierrot's collar and said, menacingly: "Now listen closely, circus rat! First of all, if you understand cat language, nod slowly." And so Pierrot did "Very good." Mr. Kat continued "Mice are not my favourite food, but in absence of Fishy Frisky Bits, some juicy mouse meat is always good for me. And if you don't tell me how to reach whoever's behind this breakaway..." instead of concluding, he slowly licked his lips, making Pierrot's heart beating at an excessive speed, even for a mouse "Have I been clear enough, appetizing morsel? Come on, talk." Trembling in extreme fear, Pierrot tried to mime something, but he wasn't able to be understood.

"It's no use" Catvixen said "He's mute. And he's also an atrocious mime. Interrogating him is useless." "Rats!" Kat exclaimed, quite appropriately. But then he noticed something on Pierrot's dress: it was a communicator. From it the three heroes could hear a loud squeaky voice yelling: "Hey! Are you still there? Hellooo-ooo? Oh, incapable idiots! I never can rely on others!" The contact shut down, but while the voice was still talking, Kat was able to use his powers to find out where did it come from.

"That was the Joker!" Catvixen exclaimed "The organizer of the breakaway!" Mr. Kat said: "I managed to discover where he is: get ready mates, we still have to walk a lot, he's very very far way from here! He's practically in the opposite side of this building!"

"Oh, well" Snoopy said "We'll follow you then. By the way madam, we still haven't introduced each other. I am Snoopy" He gently kissed Catvixen's paw "And this is my comrade, Mr. Kat" Kat kissed Catvixen's paw too.

The superheroine introduced herself: "You can call me Catvixen. You won't need to translate what your feline mate says, Snoopy, I can understand cat language. I have feline powers that allow me to do that and many other things, but that's another story"


	4. Barkham Asylum, part III

"Where do you guys come from? And why are you here?" Catvixen asked.

Kat answered: "Well... we come from... a different place... but that's a long and weird story, you wouldn't believe it. Just know that we're super strong because of cybernetics and... natural reasons. Anyway, we're here because we saw all this chaos and we thought that giving police a paw was a good idea."

"Tell me, Catvixen" Snoopy said "Do you know this Battiger?" The vixen answered: "Err... yes, I know him quite well" "How well?" Kat asked "What kind of relationship do you have?" The expressions on the two little animals made Catvixen feel quite worried and they also made her mind go back in time...

_Three years before_

At Bruce Wayne's manor, a humanoid tiger and an anthro vixen were together in bed and they were having a passionate dialouge.

"You're always the best, Bruce" the vixen whispered "Don't exaggerate, Selina" the Tiger said. "You'll never leave me, will you, Bruce?" "You shouldn't ask me to make a promise. If I broke it, that would be painful for you and for me" "Oh, Bruce… our lives are both so awfully complicated and dangerous… but when we're together I forget the danger and the evil we have to face, and I only can think about the happiness you bring!"

Someone knocked at the door. "Oh, God!" Bruce mumbled "Come in, Alfred. What's the matter?" Bruce's butler, an English pit bull, opened the door. On his muzzle there wasn't the usual respectable and impertutbable expression, he looked sort of embarrassed, like he was doing something he really hated. "I'm really sorry about this, sir" he said "You know I don't like doing this kind of things, but... I actually think it's time to give it a rest! You're here since 7:00 last night!"

"What time is it now?" Bruce asked. Alfred answered: "It's 3:00...PM, sir"

_Back to present time_

Catvixen finally came back to Earth-53 and said: "We... we're just friends, nothing more, nothing less".

Kat replied: "Sorry miss, I know you're lying. I have a special device inside my artificial heart that can read other people's pulse, and it's saying that your heart is beating incredibly fast!"

Catvixen whispered: "OK... the 'nothing less' I just said was true, but the 'nothing more' was false; there is much more between me and him, much more... much more!"

Snoopy and Mr. Kat immediately got it. Their faces turned pea green and they quickly went to throw up in a trash can. Catvixen was a little embarrassed, but she also couldn't help giggling at the view of Kat and Snoopy's reaction.

"I'm so sorry, miss Catvixen!" Snoopy exclaimed "I don't know why it happened!" Catvixen smiled and said: "Don't worry boys. I'm used to seeing reactions like yours. After all, a relationship between two animals of two different species is indeed unusual. But there's no time for this now, we gotta go!"

And so the two superheroes had become three!

In the following room a rabbit dressed like the Mad Hatter from "Alice in Wonderland" and a wolf dressed like a scarecrow were having some cups of tea and next to them there was a sleeping cat with a gas mask surrounded by sleeping non-anthro rats. A male tiger was guarding; his face was horribly disfigured, the left side of his muzzle was totally burnt and it had no cheek and no eyelid, his elegant clothes were half black and half white and he was toying with a coin.

The three fighters remained in the shadow, unseen. "The tiger is Two Face" Catvixen whispered "Sure a guy who doesn't like having friends. The cat is Ratcatcher, pure insanity made person: he's a feline who controls rats and uses them as henchmen" Mr. Kat made a disgusted grimace "The wolf is called Scarecrow, as you probably guessed from his clothes; I don't know very much about him, but almost everyone who tried to fight him started to scream in panic. The rabbit is the Mad Hatter, the most schizophrenic and most despicable rodent ever"

"Who goes there?!" Two Face growled suddenly. "Well, they noticed us" Snoopy said "Nevermind, I actually hate stealth action, I wanna enjoy some fighting!" Catvixen sighed and mumbled: "As you want, beagle"

The Mad Hatter said: "It looks like we have to interrupt our tea party for a while. All right, Scarecrow, wake up Ratcatcher and tell him to kick the vixen's butt. You'll deal with the bald kitten. Two Face, show the doggy who commands here. Meanwhile, I'll just sit and relax. Is it so wrong to have a little rest?" He made an insane laugh.

Two Face pointed a revolver towards Snoopy. "Is that the best weapon you have? A gun?" Snoopy said chuckling. Two face replied: "My best weapon and my only companion is casualness! Because it's the only impartial thing ever! Now I'll launch my coin; the normal side will give you a chance to live, the burnt one will doom you to death!" "Ok, but please be fast because I'm starting to be seriously sick of you, boring guy!"

Mr. Kat was preparing to reduce Scarecrow to pulp, but the wolf quickly wore a mask which shot a weird gas on the alien's face. "Get ready to meet the worst of your mind!" Scarecrow said with a deep and disturbing modified voice. Kat started to see and hear what he feared most: giant mutant dogs everywhere! Mr. Kat couldn't help lying on the ground trembling in fear...

Ratcatcher's mice were trying to attack Catvixen, but she was knocking out all of them. When the last rat was done, Ratcatcher had only an iron bar, but obviously it was useless against Catvixen and soon the insane cat was defeated too.

Snoopy obtained the side of salvation. "So you won't attack me, Two Face?" "Why should I? Casualness gives us a little impartiality, so we should be thankful towards casualness!" "This means that you won't defend yourself if I do... this?" Rapidly, Snoopy kicked Two face's hand, making his gun fly away. Then he kept hitting the disfigured tiger until he was lying unconscious. "Having a deformed face doesn't make you a real super-criminal!" Snoopy said mockingly.

Scarecrow was still laughing at the trembling Mr. Kat, but then Catvixen knocked him out with Ratcatcher's bar and cured Kat with an antidote to hallucinogen substances (she kept this and much more in her belt). Kat finally woke up from his nightmare and regained his toughness.

Mad Hatter was alone against three. "What are you gonna do now, bunny?" Snoopy asked "Eat a carrot and say 'What's up, Doc'?" The Mad Hatter smirked and said: "Well, magicians usually take rabbits from their hats, but since I'm myself a rabbit, I'll take out a gas-gun!"

Mr. Kat was fast enough, so he managed to shut his mouth and his nose before fainting; and he was totally sick of gas and stink! Le Bossu first, then Scarecrow and now the Mad Hatter! The alien cat rapidly hit the crazy rabbit's paw with a flying kick and made his hat totally cover his face, blinding him. Kat enjoyed the view of the Mad Hatter trying to walk without seeing and then he hit him on the back of his head, making him lose consciousness.

Snoopy and Catvixen had fainted because of the Mad Hatter's gas-gun. When they woke up, they heard a very loud burp.

"Oh my goodness, what was that?" Catvixen said. Kat answered: "Pardon me. I was kinda hungry and I gotta say that Ratcatcher's mice were pretty tasty!" The beagle and the vixen laughed.

After a brief walk, Snoopy saw a library and exclaimed: "There! A library! We might find some information about this world, Kat!" "What? Did you say 'this world'?" Catvixen asked "We told you" Mr. Kat said "Our story is long and unbelievable, maybe we'll try to tell you later. Now would you please oversee while we're in the library?" "All right, I'll call you if someone approaches"

The beagle and the purple cat went through several books. Snoopy read through a gossip magazine and called his companion: "Hey Kat! Take a look at this! Looks like in this world interspecies relationships are actually not that unusual!"

An article talked about the marriage between a duck named Byrd Rentals and a female poodle dog named Rova Barkitt. Mr. Kat commented: "I don't wanna even imagine how their children will look like!"

Another article told that a famous superhero called Pig Iron was seen in Los Angeles with some other heroes to discover who paid to have an infamous movie star named Bolt dead. This star also seemed to have a cat girlfriend named Mittens; "Classic" Snoopy said "These magazines always have to deal wih things we don't care about at least once!"

The rest of the magazine was totally useless stuff, so the two travellers looked for something else to read.

Mr. Kat then found a newspaper named "The Rodent's Gazette" and read it together with Snoopy. On the first page there was an article about a terrorist attack on the nation of Greater Llewellynlland, which was stopped by the hero Fastback alone. "Whoah, that's one though turtle!" Kat exclaimed.

Another interesting article was about a quarrel inside the congress because of interspecies marriages. A mouse named Chester Cheese represented the faction that wanted to legalize it. "Actually their debates are not that different from the ones you hear about on planet Earth" Snoopy commented "God, intelligent beings are so often the most ridicolous too!"

In the newspaper there was also an entertainment article about a masked stage performer called Alley-Kat-Abra. Nobody knew her identity, and some even said she actually had magical powers. "Nice chick!" Kat said "Good thing I'm happily engaged, I won't have to act like a 'hunter'"

The next thing to catch Snoopy's attention was a comic book, "American Eagle", written by someone called Rodney Rabbit. "So they need superhero comics on this version of planet Earth too" Snoopy observed "Even when they already have superheroes in reality! They need to see some truly easy justice!"

Nothing else seemed to be worth reading, so Snoopy and Mr. Kat went out of the library.

Kat asked to Catvixen: "We read about some superpowered people, but it looks like they're not frequently seen lately... what happened to them?" The vixen mad another question: "Do you mean metahumans or metanimals?" "Err... the latter" Mr. Kat answered. Catvixen explained: "Well, once some metanimals formed a pretty tough group, but it has been disbanded for years, nobody knows why it broke up and neither do I" Kat touched his chin with his index and thumb and raised an eyebrow...

"Listen!" Snoopy exclaimed "Someone is calling for help from that direction! Let's go!"

A few steps ahead there was a big locked cell with a bunch of human beings inside. When the three crime-fighters saw the people inside they almost tought someone was kidding them: there were a medieval king and some medieval knights!

"You, strangers I don't know!" the king said quite theatrically "Open this door and release us! You are talking with the chosen one to get the Holy Grail!"

Snoopy, Kat and Catvixen looked at each other. "Wait a minute!" Mr. Kat yelled "Do you guys think you're living in a childish game?" Snoopy translated for him. "No, we don't!" The king replied "I am King Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot, king of the Bretons, defeater of the Saxons, sovereign of all England! And these are the Knights of the Round Table!"

"It's not carnival, sweet cheeks!" Catvixen chuckled "No wonder they put you in a mental asylum!"

"We're not insane!" One of the knights yelled "And we are not criminals! We have been framed!" "Yeah!" The weirdos cried in chorus.

"Now listen, freak guys" Snoopy said "We have a big strenght, and we can let you out in the blink of an eye. Just tell us something to convince us, and we will release you"

King Arthur said: "You must let us out! You have no choice! Because we have a mission to fulfill, a mission... from God! God told me to get the Holy Grail, so may God's will be done"

Catvixen looked at Kat and made an explicit gesture moving her index finger next to her head.

Snoopy yelled: "I mean something intelligent to convince us! Can you hear me? I-n-t-e-l-l-i-g-e-n-t!"

One of the knights made one step ahead and said: "I am Sir Lancelot. And I can assure you that if you let us out from this stinky cell we'll be eternally grateful! We will help you as soon as you will need it! For too many days and nights I beat my head on those bars..." "Keeping your king awake!" Arthur interrupted. Lancelot continued: "…Now please, I beg you, use your powers and open that door! We will reward you!"

Another knight said: "Actually you can ignore us if you don't feel like helping us. I have a plan to get away from here: alchemists say that mixing several liquids you can obtain corrosive mixtures which can destroy everything, including metal. We just have to mix the right ingredients" The king replied: "But Sir Bedevere, how can you obtain anything like this when the only liquids you can use are water and saliva?"

"Your majesty!" a third knight called. "Yes, Sir Galahad?" Arthur said. "I was wondering if we should use IT to get out of this cell" Galahad explained. King Arthur replied: "No way! This would be suicide for all of us! IT is more powerful then the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch!" Snoopy, Kat and Catvixen wondered what the heck they were talking about...

Mr. Kat muttered: "Come on guys, let's just walk away! I'm plain sick of these morons!" But Snoopy was of another opinion: "Don't be too mean, pal! You never know when they might come in handy!" Catvixen said: "Hmm... I guess Snoopy's right"

Kat puffed. "All right, then. Let me pass, I'll open this door. Let's do this quickly, so I can do my best to forget this ridicolous minutes of my life!" And the alien cat opened the locked door like nothing ever locked it. Then he made a theatrical gesture and said: "Now you're free to go and disperse... clowns"

"Oh, thanks a lot, powerful strangers! You won't regret this, I promise!" And these were the last words from King Arthur before he disappeared in the dark with his knights. While he was running away, one of the knights made the noise of a horse's hooves using two coconuts.

Mr. Kat grumbled: "OK guys, we have a pact: until we meet those crazy guys again, we'll never talk about this experience!" Catvixen giggled.

Snoopy, Kat and Catvixen kept walking through the corridor. Suddenly, they noticed that there was another occupied cell. Inside there was a human being who really looked like a noble man from more or less the XVIII century. There were also some humanoid animals in the same cell: a short and squat frog, a hawk with a pair of glasses, a quite muscled crocodile and a cheetah whose hind paws were tied to chains which ended in two lead balls. These people were spending their time playing with cards.

"Hey there! Do you need some help?" Snoopy asked. "Come on, Snoopy!" Kat complained "Aren't you sick of helping prisoners? Why don't we just go on and look for some kicking butt?" The beagle ignored him.

"No, thanks!" The human said "We don't need to get away"

"What you mean?" Catvixen asked "Are you actually willing to stay there?" The weird man answered: "Baron Münchhausen, that is me, would do this and much more to gain $1,000,000,000!"

"What?! $1,000,000,000!?" Snoopy exclaimed. "That's right!" Baron said "Staying here for a week is just a part of a wager with this appetizing amount of money as a prize. And don't worry about me, I already went through even worse wagers, and even more incredible adventures! There are some things about my life that you can't even..."

"Just cut to the chase, pigtail!" Kat yelled. Catvixen translated, but instead of "pigtail" she said "Baron". Mr. Kat took an annoyed look at her.

"Well" Baron Münchhausen continued "We won't need your help when the week is over. My comrades can evade from even more guarded prisons! Gustavus, the frog, for example, has the strongest lungs ever existed!" "I would like to make an exhibition" Gustavus croaked "But the place is definitely inappropriate"

Baron said: "Adolphus, the hawk, has an amazing sight! Come on Adolphus, show them!" And the hawk said: "Dog, right now there are two fleas on your shoulder. You'd better get rid of them" Snoopy tried to check out. After a little search, it came out that Adolphus was right! "Wow, that's awesome!" Snoopy commented after crushing the fleas between two fingers.

"Berthold, the cheetah, is the fastest runner in the whole wide world! He has those lead balls because if he hadn't them he would run too fast!" Berthold complained: "That's right! Because of my natural 'gift' I always have to pant!"

"And, last but not the least, Albrecht! Sure the most useful in these situations! He has a colossal strenght! We'll get away from here thanks to him!" The crocodile got up from his chair and bent the bars of the door without any effort, then he unbent them again. "You'll think I'm weird" Albrecht said "But I'm actually not proud of being huge and strong. You know, some people think I'm just a brute barbarian... oh, the prejudices!"

"Very well, then" Mr. Kat said "Now off we go, these guys really don't need help!" This time Snoopy and Catvixen couldn't contradict him, so the three heroes saluted the strange group of adventurers and walked away.


	5. Barkham Asylum, part IV

Finally there was something serious enough for Mr. Kat: some janitors were being robbed by three criminals! They were a vulture, a fox and a shark who could breath out of water somehow.

"Come on! Keep your hands where we can see them!" They kept yelling pointing their guns towards their poor victims. The vulture and the shark kept threatening the janitors and the fox took every money he could grasp.

"Hey you, guys!" Catvixen called "I don't like bullies, you know?" "Neither do I!" Snoopy said.

With a very quick move of her whip, Catvixen made the three villains' guns fly away.

"You dare challenging the Terrible Trio?" Vulture croaked "You're gonna pay!"

The janitors finally had their chance to escape unharmed.

Fox faced Selina and, exhibiting a remarkable agility, he grabbed her whip and did his best to strangle her with it! But Catvixen managed to resist, and as soon as she could she kicked her enemy in the groin, defeating him.

Shark jumped towards Kat with his mouth wide open, clearly willing to bite him. The alien showed off his paw and said mockingly: "Come on, bite my arm, dude!" Obviously, Shark's fangs shattered when they tried to damage Kat's robotic paw. The second member of the Terrible Trio ran away crying in pain.

Vulture picked up a chair and tried to use it to break Snoopy's nose, but as soon as the chair was close enough, the bionic beagle blocked it with an index finger and made it hit Vulture's beak instead.

"And here we go. Finally I'm starting to like this again!" Mr. Kat commented.

The three heroes didn't know that a security camera was looking at them…

_Meanwhile, where the Joker was hiding:_

On one of the numerous screens, Snoopy, Mr. Kat and Catvixen could be seen. There was a raccoon observing, on his muzzle there was a spooky clown makeup and at the sides of his mouth there were two hideous scars, which formed a fake big smile.

"Raaargh! So these are the uninvited guests who are trying to destroy our party!" The Joker yelled with his loud and squeaky voice.

"Don't be so furios, my mad love" a female raccoon clad in the manner of a harlequin jester said "They still have a big plenty of escapees to fight. They'll never bring their nice butts here!"

"Well, I guess we have to think positive, Harley Quinn! Anyway, I know some guys who might turn them into a bunch of toothpicks! I'm going to call on them!" And the Joker went out of the surveillance room to look for the criminals he was thinking about. Before going were they (and many other bad guys) were, he took a look at his prisoner and made his thousandth smirk in a single day.

The prisoner was the person who the police, Snoopy, Kat and Selina were looking for: Battiger. His chest was naked, but he still had his bat mask, his boots and his pants. His hind and forepaws were chained so he couldn't move.

"Are you comfortable, my guest of honor? Oh, why so serious?" the clown said mockingly. "You're not getting away from here unharmed, Joker!" Battiger growled furiously "Soon you won't be able to fool around anymore!"

"Hey, Joker!" a female cat with a green and sensual dress called "There's still something I don't get: why can't we just take his mask off immediately? Not everyone here knows who Battiger really is like you and some other guys do. Why do you keep us waiting?"

Joker answered: "I simply want to keep this as a great, surprising finale! Now I have to go, Green Thumb. It's time for me to have some fun!" He walked away laughing maniacally.

Poison Ivy, the cat, gently stroke Battiger's cheek and whispered: "Don't worry, sweetheart. Soon you won't be undergoing any more pain. Guess what: Joker gave me the permission to finish you with my kiss At the end of his party. Oh, it's going to a moving and emotional scene" She bursted into a wicked laugh, arousing a silent rage in Battiger.

_Back to our heroes:_

"How much do we have to walk yet, comrade?" Snoopy asked. "We're starting to approach" Kat anwered "The road to walk is still kind of long, but less long than the road we've made so far"

After some steps, they heard some people approaching, and some new villains to fight came out from the darkness: a chicken with a very big and round head, a huge turtle with a shark-like costume, a magpie with large sunglasses and fishnet stockings, a fox armed with a bow, a female walrus with flaming fins, a very psychopath-looking bat with two axes and a sadistic grin on his face, a worm who whore big glasses and a hat with two mechanichal arms which held what seemed to be a book, a pig with a punk crest on the head armed with a big handgun and a ram with elegant purple clothes.

"Do you know these guys?" Snoopy asked. Catvixen answered: "Yes. They are Egghead, Tiger Shark, Magpie, Archer, Lazara, Abattior, Bookworm, Headhunter and Louie the Lilac!"

"Egg-zactly, miss!" Egghead (the chicken) said "Glad you remember all of us! Now, prepare for an egg-cellent fight!"

Archer, Louie the Lilac and Magpie fought Mr. Kat; Headhunter, Tiger Shark and Bookworm fought Snoopy and Abattior, Egghead and Lazara fought Catvixen.

Louie whistled and some ferocious mutant lilacs emerged from the darkness. "Whoah, this reminds me of the experiment I made with Cooper's plants..." Mr. Kat said.

Headhunter loaded his gun and aimed at Snoopy's head, grunting: "I only missed my target twice!" He shot. And missed. "There's always a third time, dude!" The dog said. Headhunter screamed furiously and made some other (failed) attempts, until he ran out of bullets and had to reload.

"I'll crush you!" Tiger shark growled, trying to squish his adversary under his deadly fist; naturally, Snoopy managed to dodge the turtle's punch.

Bookworm said: "I like pirate stories..." And all of a sudden, some knives were shot from his book! Snoopy was able to avoid them, but the last one made a small cut on his shoulder.

Abattior looked at Catvixen and said: "You know, you look a lot like my mother... I hated my mother!" He ran towards her with his axes raised, but Catvixen immediately used her whip to make them fly away.

Egghead said: "Your gummy rope won't be that effective against my egg-splosives!" He threw some eggs wich caused small explosions, almost hurting Catvixen. Abattior took advantage of this and took his axes back...

Mr. Kat had to avoid an awful lot of things: the lilacs' jaws, Magpie's bullets and Archer's arrows! But soon he had an idea: using his speed and his agility, he made the arrows and the bullets hit the lilacs.

The deadly flowers fell on the ground. This scene enraged Louie, who exclaimed: "Damn you! It's gonna take at least two months to grow other mutant lilacs! I'm gonna kick your purple butt!" And immediately he tried to gore Mr. Kat, but obviously it was no use: he clashed his head on the wall and fainted.

While Magpie was reloading her guns, Archer took a different looking arrow and yelled: "Dodge this!" Then he shot the special arrow, which immediately exploded and made several smaller arrows fly towards Kat!

The alien didn't discourage himself and grabbed all the arrows with his hind and forepaws and with his extendable tail. Archer put his paw inside his backpack, but he had run out of arrows, so Mr. Kat easily knocked him out. Now it was Magpie's turn...

Meanwhile, Bookworm had another story to tell: "Northern legends often tell about Thor's hammer" And a big hammer immediately flew out of the book/gadget! Snoopy had to move and think very quickly... so he hit the hammer with all his might, deviating it and making it clash against Tiger Shark's head! The giant fainted, landing right on Headhunter, who fainted too because of the impact.

Lazara tried to burn Catvixen with a fire ball, but suddenly Abattior put himself between the superheroine and the flaming sphere and his butt burnt. "You psycho-moron!" Lazara shouted "Can't you just watch where you're going?" The screaming Abattior didn't listen, because he was running away with his rear still on fire.

Catvixen prepared to counterattack Lazara, but Egghead threw an egg-bomb filled with laughing gas next to her. Selina bursted into an incontrollable laugh and couldn't stop. "Fight can be so stressful" Egghead chuckled "Good thing I bring some eggs-hilaration"

Now that Snoopy hadn't any distraction, defeating Bookworm was a child play: he just made the little villain's mechanical hat fly away with a kick, disarming the swot worm completely. Then he grabbed Bookworm, made him spin and threw him away.

After getting rid of his last enemy, Snoopy noticed that a "weakened" Catvixen was going to be finished by Lazara's flames!

Meanwhile, Mr. Kat and Magpie were face to face...

"Your eyes look bright and shiny" the thief whispered "After killing you, I'll take them!" As a reply, Kat shot a red ray from one of his eyes and made Magpie lose both of her guns. "Do you still like my eyes?" Kat mewed. Magpie didn't understand, but Mr. Kat didn't mind.

Magpie tried to use martial art and she actually turned to be a pretty good fighter, but still not good enough for a real war machine like Mr. Kat!

Snoopy immediately went to save her new friend. He took a fire extinguisher on the wall (every room in the building had one) and used it to disarm Lazara temporarily, then he stunned the female walrus with a bump on the head.

Unfortunately, the annoying round-headed chicken managed to "eggs-hilarate" the alien beagle too.

"Did you really egg-spect to beat the great Egghead? Now it's time for the kids to take their nap!" And he prepared to launch a somniferous egg/bomb...

Kat eventually defeated and knocked out Magpie, when he saw his two laughing mates and Egghead getting ready to throw another special grenade! Mr Kat's artificial eye came in handy once more: he setted the egg as a target and shot his ray, making the narcotic gas inside put Egghead to sleep instead of Snoopy and Catvixen.

Selina laboriously said: "Kat... ah-ahahah... take the... the... ahahah-ahhh ahaha... green flask in my... ahahah... belt! I almost... ahahahah-aaah... can't control my... movements!" Kat immediately understood that the green flask contained the antidote, so he used it to make Snoopy and Catvixen stop laughing. Finally that fight was over too.

Catvixen took the special soporific lilac on the suit of Louie the Lilac (who was still unconscious) and said with a smile: "Hmm... this might come in handy!"

Joker's voice shouted from a security camera: "No way! Now I'm really starting to get sick of you, little pests!" "And the worst for you is yet to come, psycho clown!" Catvixen growled "You're gonna pay for your actions" "Then come here! Now everyone is waiting for all of you! Seeing you spitting your teeth will be a great moment in the party!" And he closed the communication with a strident evil laugh.

"Come on, guys!" Snoopy exclaimed "There's no time to waste! Let's go and teach that sort of hyena a big lesson!" And so the walk across the Barkham Asylum proceeded.

The three heroes entered in a new corridor of cells where something serious was happening: two very dangerous looking humanoid crocodiles had gone out of their cells and it looked like they wanted to run away from the asylum!

The first one was very big and he only wore a pair of blue jeans and shoes, while the second one wore glasses and a quite fancy suit; he also had a long scar along his left cheek and he held a knife in his hand.

"Do you know these fellas?" asked Snoopy. Catvixen asked: "Yes, the one with the naked torso is Killer Croc, the other one is The Cannibal. The former is a violent criminal with a low intellence but with a refined sense of smell; the latter is a serial killer who only eats human flesh, he has killed over 20 people so far"

Killer Croc sniffed the air and growled: "There is nuisance smell in the air!" The Cannibal exclaimed: "They're over there! Hmm… too bad none of them is a tasty human… nevermind, killing them will still be supreme fun!"

Then a sixth character appeared all of a sudden: he was a human being clad like Captain Hook from "Peter Pan". "The Cannibal is mine!" he yelled "You can take Killer Croc, but I have to kill Cannibal once and for all! I must stop having those hideous nightmares!"

"Who is this weirdo?" Kat asked, and Catvixen explained: "He's a psychotic man who thinks he's Captain Hook. He also claims to be named Captain Hook. He's a criminal and an enemy of Battiger, but he's also willing to kill Cannibal, so sometimes he joins us"

Captain Hook unsheathed a pirate sword. Catvixen warmed him: "You can't defeat him on your own! You're gonna die! Let us help you!" Hook replied: "It's no use! You can't convince me! Go and fight the other crocodile and I won't have to stab you! I have to avenge the hand that Cannibal ate!" The Cannibal objected: "I never eat body parts alone! I always eat whole bodies! And that hook is clearly fake, madman!" "Enough, scaly demon! It ends right here!" And the irremediably insane man started a duel with The Cannibal.

Killer Croc was big and strong, but not enough to handle a fight against two extremely advanced alien cyborgs and the smart and highly equipped Catvixen!

Cannibal was in a different situation: his knife was indeed smaller and weaker than Captain Hook's sword, but the serial killer, although sociopath and psychopath, was much smarter and much more agile and he easily dodged all of Hook's strikes.

Meanwhile, Killer Croc was eventually lying on the floor defeated, so Snoopy and Mr. Kat decided to use their super-intelligence to prevent him from trying to escape once more: using an iron bar, a lamp and a tile from the wall (provided by Kat thanks to his steel claws) they built some special and indestructible handcuffs and used them to tie Killer Croc's hands and feet.

After escaping his death a few times, The Cannibal kicked Captain Hook in the stomach, stunning him and making him lose his sword. The humans eater licked his knife and hissed: "So you really think I had a taste of your meat. Well, let's see if I would have done something worth a try by doing this!"

Cannibal prepared to stab and eat the pirate, but soon Snoopy knocked him out with a bump on the back of the head and tied him too with the special handcuffs.

"I gotta thank you, dog!" Hook said "Now I can finally kill this monster!" "No, you can't!" Catvixen yelled, punching him in the face "There won't be any killing here!" Then Captain Hook was tied with the advanced handcuffs as well.

"We're getting very close to Joker!" Kat exclaimed "Come on, this way!"

In the next room there were three very strange beings guarding: they were three quite tall monsters who looked like they were totally made of clay.

The first one wore an elegant suit and he looked like a villain from some horror movie; the second one was partially covered by a sort of exoskeleton and the greatest madness could be read in his red eyes; the last one looked like a female, but you really couldn't tell what animal she was, her shape was too confused.

"Holy gee!" Snoopy exclaimed in a low voice "What are they?" Catvixen answered: "They're Clayface I, III and IV; together they form the 'Mud Pack'. They all have been turned into monsters of clay and they can morph their bodies. The I was an actor who was driven insane when he heard of a re-make of the classic horror film he had starred in. The III was sick of some serious illness so he tried to cure himself with some experiments, but instead he turned into that thing. The IV was a member of Strike Force Kobra and her employer turned her into what she currently is. They're among the strongest rivals Battiger ever faced, we gotta be careful"

The three Clayfaces were still totally unaware of the intruders' presence. Clayface IV (the female one) muttered: "You know what? I think this escape would have been much easier if the Mistress had decided to help!"

"Who is she talking about?" Snoopy whispered. "I have no idea" Catvixen answered. "Guys" Mr. Kat said "We have no choice: we must fight these freaks. The joker is very close and it looks like the only way to reach him is the one guarded by the Clayfaces" Catvixen observed: "I guess you're right"

The three fighters showed up. "Hey there, poop mountains!" Snoopy said mockingly "It's time to make you go down the hole!" "Well, well, well" Clayface I said "Finally some people to melt or just kill!"

Clayface I faced Mr. Kat, the III fought with Catvixen and the IV faced Snoopy.

"Watch out, Mr. Kat!" Catvixen cried "Clayface I's touch can poison you and kill you immediately!" So Kat did his best to avoid the clay actor's fists. Catvixen had to avoid being touched as well, since Clayface III could melt her.

All of the three monsters were very tough, they could turn their arms into weapons like hammers, sickles or axes. Lady Clay also managed to entrap Snoopy inside her body! Luckilly, the alien beagle was able to evade from that weird prison.

That fight was desperate, it really looked like the bad guys were going to win this time…

Suddenly, Kat remembered that one of his powers was truly what they all needed to defeat the Clayfaces: he put the power of his claws to make rays of heat at its maximum, cried: "Comrades, get away!" and shot.

The clay monsters were hit by an incandescent ray (it was so powerful that it also went through Clayface III's armour) and immobilized: they were totally dried.

Mr. Kat grinned, made a flamenco step and said: "In the end, we're all satisfied" Then he clapped his forepaws and the Clayfaces shattered.

Catvixen exclaimed: "Great job, Kat! Now we must hurry, the Clayfaces will soon recompose!"

Kat said: "Yeah, off we go! The Joker is very close! Follow me!"

And so the heroes ran the fastest they could, ready for the final bout.


	6. Barkham Asylum: the final showdown

Only one room separated our heroes from the Joker, but in this room there were some new criminals to beat, and they all seemed to have a specific purpose: supervising their special prisoner, Battiger!

When Battiger saw Selina, he opened his eyes wide and exclaimed: "Catvixen! Is that really you?" He spoke with a deep and hoarse voice and seemed to do his best to appear always tough and serious, but that time he could hardly hide his happiness and delight. "Hold on, Battiger! We've come to save you!" Catvixen said. "Yeah, prepare to rise again, nocturnal hero!" Snoopy added. Battiger had obviously no idea of who those new guys were, but he had no choice apart from trusting them.

The last villains were a tiger with his face dressed in bandages, a chimpanzee with a green suit full of question marks and a cane in his hand, a huge and muscled bear with a black and white mask, a walrus with an armor and a glass helmet and then there were Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn.

As usual, Catvixen introduced the new villains, so it was revealed that the tiger was Hush, the monkey was the Riddler, the bear was Bane and the walrus was Mr. Freeze.

Hush and the Riddler took care of Snoopy, Poison Ivy and Bane faced Mr. Kat and Mr. Freeze and Harley Quinn fought Catvixen.

Hush hissed: "Hush little baby… cause it's time to die!" And he tried to use his two handguns to kill Snoopy, but all his intelligence and precision were useless against that abnormally fast doggie.

"No way!" The tiger yelled furiously when he ran out of bullets. The Riddler chuckled: "Your fighting technique is so banal and rough… I'll show you how to crush a vermin!"

Catvixen was in a bad situation: she had to dodge Harley's bullets and explosive dice and Mr. Freeze's freezing ray!

"It's over, honey!" Harley Quinn said mellifluously "Accept your defeat with a smile!"

But then Selina had an idea: she decided to make Freeze's ray hit the jester raccooness. It was pretty hard, cause the walrus was not stupid, but in the end Catvixen made it!

"Oh, no!" Mr. Freeze shouted "The winter had to come for the vixen, not for Harley!" But soon different thoughts took over his mind, because Catvixen's kick shattered his helmet, making him risk to die. So he quickly ran to the big fridge for the food served in the refectory and enclosed himself there.

Bane growled: "Time to crush the rat-cat thing!" Poison Ivy said: "Calm down, Bane. Why using violence when love can kill?" Mr. Kat exclaimed: "What the hell are you talk…" He couldn't finish, because Ivy had just blown her pheromone dust on his muzzle, making Kat fall in love with her.

The "femme fatale" approached to Mr. Kat and whispered: "Now, cutie, how about a big kiss?" Bane folded his arms, smirked and laughed evilly.

The Riddler said to Snoopy: "Question: 'I show that there's someone who needs to know something, and if I'm used in a certain way, I can hurt! What am I?'" Snoopy answered: "I guess it's a question mark. But I didn't get the second half of your quiz..." "Correct answer, beagle. Anyway, I'm going to explain the second half... right now!" And he took some question mark-shaped knives and launched them towards Snoopy. The dog dodged them all without even moving his feet.

"Now it's my turn" Snoopy said "You know what is this?" He raised a fist. The Riddler chuckled: "Too easy! It's a fist!" "Wrong answer: it's the brother of this!" And the alien dog immediately punched the chimpanzee with the other hand right between his eyes, knocking him out.

Poison Ivy's lips were almost touching Kat's... it seemed it was too late...

"Nooo!" Catvixen yelled, pouncing on Ivy. The two antro girls started to fight, holding each other in a deadly hug. At a certain moment, Poison Ivy started to prevail, her punches made Catvixen's nose bleed... until Selina used Louie the Lilac's soporific flower to make her adversary go to sleep!

Mr. Kat woke up from his dangerous romantic dream, and in front of him there was a very enraged Bane. The bear tried to crush him with a punch, but Kat quickly jumped away. Catvixen joined him, so Bane was alone against two, but he was still an incredibly strong adversary!

Hush had just reloaded his guns. "Hah! That crazy Riddler thought he could kill you with his stupid games, good thing I'm always here to... uh? Where did he go?" Snoopy had actually disappeared. "Peek-a-boo!" The beagle's voice said from over Hush's head, and soon the tiger was stunned by Snoopy's bounce.

The alien dog noticed that Bane was holding Catvixen and Mr. Kat's necks and he was trying to strangle them! Snoopy didn't waste any time and hit the bear with a low blow from behind. Bane lay down and moaned in pain. "You crazy bastard!" Kat growled, giving Bane the final hit (the one that made him lose consciousness).

Catvixen said: "Kat, you'd better use your heat emanation to melt the block of ice that is imprisoning Harley Quinn! After all, we still can't let her die benumbed!" And so Kat put his hand on the ice and "saved" the raccooness. The jester staggered a little and grumbled: "So... where you are?" Snoopy knocked her out as well. Finally the three heroes could celebrate another victory with a loud "Yeah!"

Suddenly, Battiger's severe voice was heard: "Ahem! Are you guys still thinking bout me?" As an answer, Mr. Kat approached to him and spitted on his chains, melting them. Battiger was finally free! "Thank you" he muttered with a very low enthusiasm.

"Oh, my dear sweetheart!" Catvixen said, hugging her beloved Bruce Wayne. Battiger hugged her too and said nothing.

Snoopy said: "Well... sorry if I bother you, but could we spare the love scene for later?" He winked.

Battiger agreed. "Yeah, the Joker must pay! He's in the next room. Let's go!"

Bruce Wayne violently opened the door which led to his nemesis. The Joker was currently showing the back of his chair. "Well, well, well, looks like the bat has evaded from his cage!" He turned around and showed his hideous face. Snoopy and Kat boggled at the view! "What's up? Is that because of the scars? Do you wanna know why I have them?" He stood up.

"We don't want you to tell us any freaking fairy tale!" Battiger yelled "If there was still a little sanity in your bloody head, you would surrender now! Remember that you're alone against four! And these two strangers are truly strong, they can reopen the wounds at the sides of your mouth in two seconds!"

"Good thing he said that" Kat whispered in Snoopy's ear "I was starting to consider this tiger quite unpleasant!"

Joker giggled and said: "You know, I truly see the affection Catvixen feels for you: she faced dozens and dozens of dangerous guys, followed two strangers blindly... and all this just for you, I guess. Remarkable" He touched his chin.

"Cut to the chase, you filthy wretch!" Battiger shouted. So the sadistic raccoon explained: "The point is that I also know almost everything about Catvixen's daughter" Snoopy and Mr. Kat made an astonished expression "Now I also fully notice what she actually feels about you. And maybe you think I'm stupid, but I'm not! I can make 2+2! Catvixen's daughter is half tiger, you are a tiger... do I really need to say anything else?"

There was a brief silent pause, then Kat and Snoopy became completely green once more and puked inside a trash can again. The joker made an umpteenth squeaky and annoying laugh, then he moved is index finger and said mockingly: "You're a bad boy, Mr. Wayne! Mommy would spank you for hours!"

Battiger had an explosion of rage and started to run towards his enemy growling wildly. But then he had to stop, because the Joker had opened his violet jacket, revealing a big set of bombs inside his many pockets! "Ah, ta-ta-ta-ta!" The evil clown said calmly "Let's not blow... this out of proportion" His thumb was now in a ring from which started a wire connected to the bombs, and everyone in front of him was very tense.

"Do you really think you can fool me again?" Battiger cried "You already used that stupid trick! I know those bombs are fake!" "How can you be sure?" Joker asked with an ironic voice "Do you want to verify?" He pulled the string... Snoopy, Kat and Catvixen closed their eyes and trembled...

The bombs didn't explode, but one of them opened up and shot a much smaller bomb which spread lachrymatory gas everywhere!

Fortunately, Mr. Kat could still see without any problem from his bionic eye, so he was able to see where the Joker was running. "Over there, Battiger! He's going that way!" Bruce Wayne was close enough, so, with a little effort, he could see where Kat was pointing. He immediately started to chase his hated enemy.

"Mwahahahaha! You'll never catch me!" The Joker screamed, launching some cutting cards; one of them hit Battiger's cheek, but this only enraged him even more.

In the end, the hooded tiger pounced on the hideous raccoon and punched his muzzle furiously and repeatedly! The Joker laughed at every hit, but it actually sounded like a laugh he used to express physical pain. Finally, the psycho clown lost consciousness; his face and mouth were totally covered with blood and he wasn't smiling anymore. It was over.

Catvixen and Battiger hugged each other again. Snoopy and Kat hugged each other as well, but obviously not because they were lovers.

"You mustn't worry about our baby, honey" Catvixen whispered "There's a friend of mine who promised to take care of her. I'm talking about Holly. You know her, right?" "Yes, I do. You chose the right person" He finally smiled.

Battiger took all of his things back, then he talked to Mr. Kat and Snoopy: "Well, I guess I gotta thank you for your help. Now, will you tell me where you come from?" The two mysterious strangers scratched their heads and then they explained everything about them: their nature, their respective planets, their fight, their attempt to go back home... everything.

"If I were a realistic person, I would think you're kidding me around" Battiger commented "But I'm not, and you also don't look like you're lying. Then I believe you" "Well, I want to believe you too, but it's so hard!" Catvixen exclaimed. "Either way" Bruce Wayne said "I know someone who might help you"

"Great!" Snoopy commented "Who is him or her and where we can find him or her?" Battiger told them that they had to go to New York City, Cheesy street 25 and ask about Roger Rodney Rabbit. "Too bad I don't have a pen and a piece of paper..." Mr. Wayne muttered. Kat said: "Don't worry! The motherboards in my brains have already saved it! New York City, Cheesy street 25, Roger Rodney Rabbit. Easy!" Snoopy thought: (Hey! He's the guy who wrote that comic book!) "Very good. One last thing" Battiger said "Never say to anyone that I have been called Mr. Wayne! Never!" He put his index finger in front of his mouth. "Our lips are sealed" Snoopy swore.

Battiger concluded: "Now off you go. You helped enough here. Thanks again. You can now leave this place to me, Catvixen and the police. Goodbye, and good luck"


	7. New York City, part I

A train arrived at the Grand Central Terminal in New York City. A big bunch of people walked out from it. There were punk raccoons, businesspigs, drunken humans... and Snoopy and Mr. Kat.

They had easily got the money for the travel by pretending to be beggars and making adorable puppy eyes.

When they got out of the station, they were already surrounded by the huge New York skyscrapers. Kat smiled and said: "Finally, here we are!"

Snoopy was motionless and his mouth was wide open. "Hey Snoopy! Are you still here? Hellooo!" Kat called.

"Oh, sorry Kat. You know, cities like this are very rare on planet Darmaskan, so I can't help being astonished..."

"Well, when we finally go back home, come to visit me on my planet, cities full of skyscrapers and blinding lights are everywhere, they're the standard cities. Now, Cheesy Street, here we come!"

"Err... actually I would like to see Times Square before! My young owner, Charlie Brown, talked a lot about it and it seems it's really beautiful!"

"Oh, come on! I heard about Times Square too and I swear we have even more amazing places on my planet!"

"Oh, please please please please please! I beg you"

Mr. Kat snorted and grumbled: "OK, OK!"

The two aliens from a parallel universe called a taxi. "Times Square, please" Snoopy said. The driver, a very stressed gorilla, answered with a grunt and started to drive.

After a brief travel, the two cyborgs finally reached Times Square. Mr. Kat complained: "Holy furballs, that driver was 100% right when he swore so much! You can go crazy with these retrograde vehicles! Are flying cars so difficult to build?"

Naturally, Snoopy was too spellbound to listen to him. Those huge and shining walls were pure magic! Even those gigantic commercials looked pretty enchanting! If he had been a cat, Snoopy would have fallen in love with that smiling female cat who held a box of a cat food called "Go fish!".

An oddly dressed real female cat approached Mr. Kat and whispered: "Wanna have some fun with me?" Kat ignored her.

All of a sudden, the atmosphere abruptly changed: some people were heard crying: "Run for your life! The Rhino is here!" And so everyone started to scream and run.

"Hey! What's going on?" Snoopy asked very loudly. A humanoid turtle answered with a scared voice: "It's Rhino! He's an insane super-strong criminal! He enjoys causing destruction and now he reached New York! You'd better run the fastest you can if you like living!"

"I guess we have a chance for some more kicking butt, pal!" Kat exclaimed.

The two heroes waited for the villain to show up... and soon a human being with a rhino costume appeared. He kept growling angrily and clashing his horned head everywhere.

"Hey there, Greyzilla!" Snoopy called mockingly. "Shall we dance?" He said macking a provocative "come here" gesture.

"Time to rock and roll!" Kat said.

Rhino yelled: "All right, let's see if you're exhibiting your bravery... or your foolishness!" And he run towards the two aliens to gore them. The Rhino was incredibly fast and Snoopy and Kat were almost hit!

Snoopy tried to punch him, but it wasn't very effective and he only received a very painful kick that made him fly and clash on the wall! The dog fainted...

"Snoopy!" Kat cried "You monster!" And he hit Rhino with the most efficacious move he could make: a kick in the groin! But the beast didn't fall on the ground like everyone else had done, he just moaned a little and immediately punched Kat's muzzle! The feline alien felt the warmth of the blood on his nose.

Rhino laughed and said: "Now, little creeps, I guess it's time to finish you both!"

The powerless Mr. Kat took an angry look at his enemy...

_The following part was written by __A. Fox:_

Rhino threw our heroes to the ground and was about to crush their heads when…  
"You shall do no such thing!"  
The supervillain looked up to see where the voice came from, and couldn't believe his eyes.  
King Arthur and his Knights had returned to pay their dept.  
"Step away from those two beast" the alleged king said, not at all scared of the massive freak looking at them.  
Rhino narrowed his eyes at him "oh and how do you twerps intend to make me do that?"  
King Arthur unsheathed his sword "you have left us no choice Knights…ATTACK."  
The King and his knights rushed forward and attempted to hack at him with swords, but due to Rhino's tough skin they gave up after a minute of hacking.  
"My leige" lisped the visor knight "our swords don't seem to hurt him."  
"I couldn't agree more Sir Bedevere" King Arthur said sheething his sword "that fiend seems to be immune to our blows."  
"Maybe we could guns" suggested one knight.  
"Lancelot we don't have guns" Arthur snarled.  
"Maybe we could confuse it with a tactical retreat?" The redhaired knight said.  
"ROBIN YOU TWIT IT WON'T" Arthur roared visibly frustrated by now.  
"Well we do have the Holy Alligator" another Knight said.  
"Of course the Holy Alligator of Albuquerque great thinking Galahad" Arthur said adding "Brother Maynard fetch the alligator."  
A monk that was following them walked off and returned with a violin case and opened it up revealing that an alligator was inside not a humanoid on but the type you readers are used to, he handed it over to Arthur while he whipped out a Holy Tome and read aloud.  
"…And Saint Genghis raised the alligator on high saying 'oh Lord bless us this Holy Alligator that with it we may blow our enemies to tiny bits' and the Lord did grin and the people did feast upon the rams and the slugs and the trout and the sardines and chimpanzees and vampire bats and enormous boo…"  
"Skip a bit brother" another Monk insisted.  
Maynard skipped a few pages and read "and the Lord spake saying 'first thou shalt pull the holy tail then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then releasith the tail and launch thy alligator towards they foe who being naughty in my sight shall deflec it…amen."  
"Amen" the other people in his party said.  
"Right" King Arthur said then grabbing the alligator and doing as the instructions said "ONE! TWO! FIVE!"  
"Three sir" Bedevere said correcting the King.  
"Three" Arthur said correcting his mistake then releasing the tail and sending the alligator aloft.  
Rhino had just been watching them wondering 'what the F*** is going on but when he saw the alligator coming he held up his arm to block it only for the alligator's teeth to sink into it.  
The villain now in a panic ran to see if there was anything to get rid of this menace Arthur and his knights though knowing their job was done left still pretending to ride horses.

_Now by Italian Schizoid Boy again:_

Our heroes were seriously wounded, but at least they were still able to walk. And they were also thoroughly weirded out by that whole thing they had just seen...

"Well, how about just going off towards Rodney Rabbit's apartment?" Mr. Kat suggested. "Err... yep" Snoopy said. And so they called for another taxi.

Finally, the two animals were in front of the address they were looking for! "Oh, Yeah! Here we are!" Snoopy exclaimed "So, the guy who might help us is Rodney Rabbit, right?" "Exactly. By the way, I think we'll need to cooperate to play the right door bell..." Rodney's door bell was indeed pretty high for them, so Kat stood on Snoopy's shoulders and pushed the button.

Kat played five times, but Rabbit never answered. "Wouldn't tell now!" Snoopy grumbled "He's not at home!" "No way!" Kat replied "I won't accept this! We cannot have made all this road for nothing! You can either come with me or wait outside, but I'm going to get upsatirs and knock! He gotta have a defective intercom! He gotta!"

Mr. Kat kept knocking, sometimes almost breaking the door, but nothing happened. He only stopped knocking when an authoritarian unknown voice said from behind him and Snoopy: "Are you looking for Mr. Rodney Rabbit?" The two animals looked towards the voice and saw a female alligator with a broom. "Well, he's not at home. And I guess he won't be back until tomorrow morning, like always. I actually hope he comes back here sooner this time, so I can scold him for good for the mucky floor he leaves everytime! And please take off your shoes when you take the stairs!" Snoopy and Kat looked at their bare hind paws... Mr. Kat looked at his companion and moved his index finger next to his head.

The wanderers went to sit down on the stairs outside, watching the street and overcome by discouragement. "What the heck are we gonna do now?" Snoopy asked a few seconds later. Kat reflected a little and answered: "We have two choices: we can wait or go and look for him. If we choose the second option, then our only guide will be our instinct. It was sort of useful inside the Barkham Asylum, but it might be way harder in a big city like this..." "Well, I choose number two! I really don't feel like staying here doing nothing at all!"

A long walk in the big iron jungle began. Late night was approaching and streets were getting more dangerous, but not for our two heroes. Several hookers tried to rob them, but they only obtained bruises and flying teeth; some of them tried to threaten them from behind, but they always got an iron heel in the groin.

Along their way, the aliens asked every rabbit they saw if his name was Rodney, but there was nothing to do.

An hour passed and the two animals were getting seriously tired. "Good thing my feet are artificial" Mr. Kat complained "Because if they weren't they would hurt like hell!"

Suddenly, some noises came from round the corner... it seemed that there was a fight between two very powerful people. Snoopy saw the shadow of one of the two challengers: it had rabbit ears!

The wanderers came closer and saw that a muscled rabbit with a superhero costume was fighting against an ugly and monstruous black creature! "This is it pal!" Snoopy said "Come on, let's help him!"


	8. New York City, part II

After a long and hard fight, Venom, the deadly alien "symbiote", was going to kill a seriously weakened Captain Carrot.

"Mwa-ha-ha-ha-haaa! Now, Captain Sucker, get ready to become my next meal! Yeah, you'll make a delicious stew!"

So he turned his right hand into an ax and prepared to slice the rabbit... but suddenly something hit him right in the head and made him fall: it was Mr. Kat's foot. "I've met many ugly and disgusting beings during my travels" Kat said "But you beat them all!"

Snoopy came closer and commented: "You remind me of what I take out of my butt after the end of my digestion"

Venom's evil smirk turned into an enraged and furious face. "So you think you're tough just because you can insult?" he hissed "Well then... why don't you show me what your tiny paws can do, little puppies?"

Snoopy immediately used one of his "tiny paws" to throw a large trash box towards Venom and yelled: "We'll do it with the highest pleasure, petrol lump!"

Venom managed to avoid the trash box, extended his arm and grabbed Snoopy's neck, then shortened his arm again to bring the dog close to his face and hit him with his head.

Mr. Kat immediately came to the rescue and transformed his iron claws in circular saws, but the black monster shoot a spider web from his wrists, tied Kat's ankles and made him fly and clash against the wall.

Meanwhile, Captain Carrot regained his strength and tried to attack his enemy, but he just got completely wrapped in Venom's web.

The evil symbiote turned his hand into a sort of sword and prepared to stick Snoopy, but not before saying: "Say your last prayers, little scum!" The dog sat down and grumbled: "OK, I surrender, you win" he posed his hand in a V for Victory sign "This V for Victory is for you. You are the strongest one" Obviously, it was a trap: Snoopy's mechanical paw immediately detached itself from the arm and flew like a rocket to slam on Venom's face.

The black monster fell, and meanwhile Kat managed to break the web that tied his feet and, in a burst of rage, hit Venom with his heat ray from his forepaws... thus making the black monstruosity cry: "Aaargh! Not this! Curse you, little pest!" Kat had accidentally found the weak point of the villain! The defeated and almost terrified Venom ran away and Snoopy and Mr. Kat performed a high-five.

The two aliens released Captain Carrot from Venom's web. "Thank's a lot, guys" the superhero said. "Don't mention it" Snoopy replied. The dog had already understood that the rabbit had to keep his identity secret, so he lowered his voice and asked: "Say, are you… Rodney Rabbit?" Captain Carrot made an alarmed face for less than a second and answered: "N-no, I'm just Captain Carrot, nobody else!"

Kat exclaimed: "My special sensor proves you're lying! But please, don't be scared, you can trust us, Battiger told us about you. We need your help"

"Battiger?" Rodney said "Hmm... that changes a few things... what kind of help do you need?"

Snoopy reluctantly told a very simplified version of their story and Mr. Kat showed some proofs by exposing his paws' circuitry and showing some of his alien powers. But Captain Carrot was still wary: "Can you demonstrate me you're not androids?" So Kat used one of his iron claws to make a small scratch on Snoopy's organic paw, making it bleed a little. "Hey! Have you lost your bloody mind?" Snoopy yelled slapping his companion's face.

When Rodney saw the blood, he was finally quite convinced. "OK, let's go to my house, this place is not good for talking. Hold on a minute" He went behind a trash box and, after a few seconds, he reappeared as a very normal anthropomorphic rabbit.

When the three animals were finally at Rodney's flat they saw some incredibly untidy rooms. "Sorry for the mess" The host said "As you probably understood I spend just a little time here, so I don't have much time to put it in order. My girlfriend used to do what I couldn't, but she's in heaven now…" He quickly changed topic "So, if I correctly understood you come from another planet… in another universe!" "That's right" Snopy said, then he told the whole story in a more detailed and exhaustive way.

"Well, I guess I know how to help you" Rodney said, making a large smile appear on his listeners' muzzles "There is a mad doctor called Dr. A. Fox who owns a machine which permits to cross the borders of the many existing universes. He was a prodigy child, a very smart teenager, then one day he locked himself in an intrinsic field generator in hopes of becoming invincible, but something didn't work properly and the experiment turned him into a violent, ruthless and dangerous sociopath with some superhuman powers. And he also started to work on something to prevent his own death"

"And how does this guy hope to become immortal?" Mr. Kat asked. Captain Carrot suddenly looked a little unsettled, then he tried to answer: "Well... you see... err..." He couldn't finish, because he was suddenly starting to weep. A very agitated Snoopy tried to calm him: "Err, OK OK, then I guess it's something you'd better not to explain right now, we're not gonna insist" "What?" Kat exclaimed "W-wait, I still wan-" he was interrupted by Snoopy's hand blocking his mouth.

"Alright, thank you guys" Rabbit said "So, this scientist has what you need to go back home, but there is one problem: we cannot look for this evil genius on our own, we need to be more numerous! But let's not discourage: you gotta know that I once was the leader of a group of superheroes called The Zoo Crew; we seriously used to kick some butt… but, you know, all good things must come to an end and now each one of them has taken a different path; well, I think it's truly time to go and look for my old friends!"

"Good" Kat said "But... where do we start from?" "Hmm, good question" Rodney observed, but after just a little thinking he already had the answer "Oh yeah, Chester Cheese! He's the closest old companion of mine I know where to find! He also may know where the other members are" "What? Are you talking about the guy who supports the legalization of interspecies marriages?" Snoopy asked. "That's right" Rodney said "Guess you read about him in some newspapers, they're talking about him quite a lot nowadays. Now it's quite late and we'd better rest, but tomorrow I'll ask for a season long vacation so we can leave and go to Washington DC, that's where we'll find Chester"

And so, after some discussion, Mr. Kat decided to sleep on the sofa and Snoopy slept on the top of the back of the armchair, just like he used to sleep on the roof of his dog-house. And Rodney slept in his bed, which he had recently substituted with a single one. He couldn't stand the idea of sleeping in the double-bed where he used to have his late girlfriend by his side.


	9. Crystal Lake

The next day Rodney obtained a season long vacation and after lunch the three animals got on Rabbit's car to go to Washington DC. Rodney was the driver and the two aliens sat on the back seat.

But along their road there were some very annoying obstacles awaiting them.

First of all, while they were still in NYC they met a completely motionless traffic jam. After half an hour of exhausting waiting, Mr. Kat (who, has some of you already know, has not a good temper) got out of the car and went to see what was causing that delirium: it was a dormouse who had fallen asleep at the wheeler! A very angry Kat woke up the dormouse by detaching the car's door with one hand and slapping the driver's face furiously until some people came to calm him. Mr. Kat might have overdone it, but he actually made the traffic move again.

And after that little adventure, our three heroes were finally outside New York City, driving on a more quiet road. But a few minutes later, the second misadventure came: the car ran out of fuel. Mr. Kat's scream of rage could be heard at the other side of the world.

And so Kat, Snoopy and Rodney used their big strength to push the car until they reached the closest gas station. Then the travel could finally proceed quietly.

"Hey Rod!" Snoopy said "Shall we rock a little?" "I know what you mean" Rodney answered "I have the right soundtrack for this trip" And so he put a CD into the radio and "On the road again" by Canned Heat started to play. This band existed on Earth-53 too, but Larry "The Mole" Taylor was actually a mole, Harvey "The Snake" Mandel was actually a snake and so on.

After some miles, the travelers started to feel quite tired (even because the beginning of their journey had been way more troubled than they expected), so when they saw a sign which read "Camp Crystal Lake – 5 miles" Snoopy suggested: "Hey guys, why don't we spend the night in this camp? I'm already half destroyed by this travel" Mr. Kat was favorable, but Rod was more skeptical: "I'm not sure if this is a good idea... there are some very disturbing and unsettling rumors about Crystal Lake!" "Hah! Just lots of baloney!" Kat exclaimed "Are you scared, maybe?" After some debate, Captain Carrot surrendered and said "OK then, guess there's nothing I can say to dissuade you. I'll park as soon as I can"

So they paid to spend the night in a cabin. And after having dinner in a restaurant, they went to sleep earlier than the previous day. They had some troubles in finding sleep, because their neighbors were a group of teenagers who had decided to have one of the greatest orgies in all their lives! "So these guys feel horny tonight? Then I'll show them how it feels to have a horn between your buttocks!" Kat hissed, but Snoopy and Rodney did their best to prevent him from even going out since the alien cat had used his rough methods quite enough.

Shortly afterward the three travelers managed to fall asleep, but in the very late night way more horrible noises came to Snoopy's highly sensitive ears...

"AAAAARGH!" "STAY AWAY FROM MEEE!" "YOU MONSTER!"

The beagle dog woke up abruptly and looked out of the window: no, it wasn't a joke or anything harmless, the lights in the other cabin were still on and Snoopy's terrified eyes could see blood and running people!

Snoopy immediately awakened his companions, who almost wanted to stab him for this at first, but when the dog showed them that horrible scene they immediately understood they had a very good reason to stay awake!

Rodney ate one of the super carrots he had in his luggage and turned into Captain Carrot, then the three heroes walked out and as soon as they were starting to approach the nearby cabin one of the boys inside (or at least his remains) flew out of a window and fell close to them; his body was completely torn apart and his guts could be seen. Captain, Kat and Snoopy ran behind a bush and vomited everything they had eaten.

"This guys were killed by a demon!" Mr. Kat exclaimed. Rodney suggested: "We'd better stay hidden for a while, an immediate attack might be too dangerous against such a killing machine!" His two companions agreed with him.

After a few seconds the three remaining teenagers were running out of the cabin, they were a dog girl, a male raccoon and a female human. Apparently they were actually saving themselves, but then several sharp objects, including an ax, flew out of the windows and hit the heads of two of them with great precision. Only the human girl survived, and while she was still running someone else jumped out from the cabin with remarkable speed and agility: he was a gigantic humanoid bat with a white hockey mask and a large machete in his right hand.

"Oh no!" Captain Carrot whispered "Just as I feared... that's Jason Voorhees! The monster of Crystal Lake! One of the strongest and most implacable killers ever existed! I told you this was not a good place to spend the night! Anyway, let's not alert him for no reason at all, he's one of the hardest opponents you can meet in all your life!"

Jason landed right in front of the running girl, who got so scared that she fell on her butt. "Why... why are you doing all this? What have we done?" She asked with desperate and scared voice. Voorhees answered: "Nothing personal, but you were here at the wrong time. Now hold still" and he ruthlessly stabbed her head with his machete to finish her. Mr. Kat, Snoopy and Captain covered their eyes; and before doing that they had noticed how Jason spoke without any trace of accent...

Suddenly, an unknown voice calmly asked: "So, have you finished?" And some people came out of the wood. One of them was a humanoid shark who could somehow breathe out of water and had a bowler on his head, a cane and a large scar on his face. He appeared to be the leader of the group and his henchmen were human beings with strange masks covering their faces who carried canes too and were also dragging a big bag.

"Who's that sicko?" Snoopy asked. Captain answered: "The shark is Franky DeLarge, grandson of one of the most hated vandals ever: Alex DeLarge. And Franky actually might be even worse than his grandpa!"

Meanwhile, Jason was answering DeLarge: "Yes Franky, now the coast is clear" And the shark said: "Great! This is a very good place to hide our money, and with those bad boys out of the way burying our booty will just be a piece of cake!"

And so DeLarge and his henchmen started to dig, meanwhile Jason just observed without moving or speaking.

In the meantime Kat, Rodney and Snoopy were still behind the bush and they were trying to make up a plan, when suddenly Snoopy noticed there was a pretty alarming expression on Mr. Kat's face, so he desperately whispered: "Please pal, don't! Just don't! Hold on! Hold on I say!"

"AAAAAAAAAT-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOB!" Kat's sneeze made an epic echo.

All the thugs and Jason turn to look at what remained of the bush (all of its leaves, as well as the ones of some trees nearby, had been swept away by Mr. Kat's allergy) and the three people behind it. "Sloppy work this time, I missed three of them" The killer bat said. "Jason, you know what you have to do to set this right" Franky DeLarge said. Voorhees obeyed and started to walk towards the three spies, with his machete ready for action. "Oh no, we're doomed..." Captain Carrot said with a rather scared voice.

But Mr. Kat, who was pretty cocky as usual, pounced on the scary killer and started scratching and hitting him, while Jason kept moving in the attempt of getting rid of that pest. "No Kat, don't do this!" Captain Carrot cried "Jason will eat you alive!" "I'm afraid it's no use, Cap" Snoopy said with an embittered tone "When he decides to do something nothing can dissuade him... a little like me!" He extracted his lightsaber for the first time after more than 24 hours "Let's teach all this scum a lesson!"

"Oh, well" DeLarge said calmly "If I managed to escape unharmed from Amity island with just this little souvenir on my face, then why should I be afraid of a doggy with a fluorescent toy and a rodent in tights? Come on my droogs, let's kick their butts!"

A furious fight began. Snoopy was particularly violent this time because of a great and unexpected anger inside of him, and he actually tried to hit Franky's henchmen with his sword!

Meanwhile Jason managed to throw Mr. Kat away from him. The alien cat immediately stood up ready to resume fighting, but he actually got a little scared when he saw a deep scratch he had made on the killer's wing disappearing like steam in the air. Voorhees commented: "You remind me of this bully I once knew... but since you're not him I'll have to practice some more" Then he raised his machete and, fast like thunder, he cut Mr. Kat's arm off! But naturally the alien didn't show any pain and just smirked, while the killer bat was looking at the sparkling paw on the ground. "So you like 'cheating' a little too..." Jason observed while Kat was quickly repairing his limb "Guess I'm going to enjoy this"

Franky's minions weren't so lucky: the biggest one of them, who had asked to face Snoopy all by himself just to show how badass he was, was already screaming in pain holding in his hands what remained of his leg! "Anyone else's feeling brave?" Snoopy asked mockingly.

In the meantime DeLarge was facing Captain Carrot with his cane and with his special hand bazooka. Rodney managed to dodge many little missiles, but after a few moves the shark made one of his bullets explode so close to the super rabbit's feet that it made him fall on his rear, giving Franky a chance to try to strangle him with his deadly cane. Cap was actually starting to choke, but then he eventually got rid of that deadly hold by giving his adversary a good kick in the groin.

Kat was able to hit Jason with his claws many other times, but it seemed to be totally useless: every time the wounds magically disappeared from the masked assassin's body. Shortly afterwards, Mr. Kat decided to try to decapitate his enemy, but this was incredibly hard since Voorhees obviously did everything he could to avoid having his head cut off, and Kat's huge speed wasn't enough at all. But after some failed attempts, the feline managed to cut Jason's throat; Kat looked at his gurgling adversary with some hope finally reborn... it was no use, that wound rapidly healed too, much with Mr. Kat's horror.

Even more blood was being spread where Snoopy was fighting all those minions: one of them had been decapitated, one had been cut in half, one had lost both of his arms... now only one last henchman was still able to fight, and his only weapon seemed to be his cane, but then he revealed it to be a sword and prepared for a duel... until his blade was cut in five little pieces by Snoopy! Now everything the poor dude could do was running away screaming like a girl.

Captain Carrot wasn't so lucky since Franky DeLarge was actually pretty strong and agile, and his little bazooka was actually very efficient. Rodney was now seriously stunned by a powerful punch directed to his spleen and Franky was pointing his weapon at him saying: "I'm not like the villains in the movies, I'm gonna kill you right here, right no-" he couldn't finish, because he had to avoid Snoopy's sword immediately if he didn't want his hand to fly away. "But by saying this you just acted like a movie villain!" the alien beagle said.

Meanwhile Kat could see his defeat coming to get him. Jason Voorhees was pure power, nothing could stop him. And now a strong kick in the belly had made the cyborg fly to hit his back on a tree. The killer made an incredibly high leap, his machete was ready to finish Kat... the alien immediately used every single cybernetic neuron inside of his head with the greatest effort he could make, he did his best to make the time go much slower...

When Jason was quite close to his victim, Kat made another, lower leap with his steel claws extracted... and sliced Jason's chest open, just like the bat had done with that boy. This time the killer was actually feeling a great pain. Less than a normal being would, but he was still feeling pain, and as long as his organs were still exposed and his wound wasn't healed by his powers yet, Jason was almost unable to do anything.

In the meantime, DeLarge was trying to shoot his missiles at Snoopy, but they were all easily destroyed by the dog's lightsaber until the gangster's weapon ran out of bullets. "Damn it!" the shark yelled "Jason! Come here! I need help!" "Your friend cannot come right now, he has a little bellyache" Mr. Kat said while Voorhees was painfully walking towards a horrified DeLarge. "You miserable creeps!" Franky cried "This is not a goodbye, one day we'll come back to cut your eyeballs off! You will pay!" He grabbed his bag of money and ran away, and Jason went after him with a remarkable speed for someone with his chest torn apart.

"Then we'll be there waiting for you!" Captain Carrot exclaimed. "Come on Cap, what a cliché!" Kat commented. "Oh Kat, please!" the rabbit said "Now let's just think about going back to sleep. I know it'll be hard with all these creepy stuff we witnessed, but tomorrow our travel will continue. There is still a long road waiting for us".


	10. Washington DC: Part 1

**I'm sorry for being so slow, it's not mah fault** **guys, it's just that the life of an undergraduate can be extremely hard, on top of that I'm currently trying to work on some "non fanfiction" books I wanna write... sadly it's not easy at all, writing is two things first of all: dreaming... and suffering. Anyways, here's the new chapter finally, hope you like it.**

**I don't own anything.**

**Oh... and FINALLY I've learned how to use this line thingy! :D**

* * *

Washington D.C., the capital city of the United States of America. Finally, after that night full of horror and violence, Rodney, Snoopy and Mr. Kat reached their destination.

Before parking his van, Rodney Rabbit, A.K.A. Captain Carrot, said to his companions: "Alright, here we are. Now listen up" he lowered his voice "Chester's superhero identity is Little Cheese, he has the power of shrinking himself on command. Now we're going to his law firm, if he's not there then he's probably somewhere else fighting crime as Chester Cheese. And one last thing before we go: we'd better watch out, because recently Calypso was sighted right here in this city!"

"Who is this guy?" Snoopy asked. And Rodney answered: "He's a dangerous and powerful criminal who likes organizing a clandestine tournament of car fighting and other destructive stuff which can cause remarkable damage to an entire city: the Twisted Metal tournament! Some people say he probably chose Washington DC as the new location for this hell of vehicles blowing up!"

Kat said to Rodney with sarcasm: "Oh well, we keep getting luckier... so what should we do if we come across some fighting cars?"

Rabbit answered: "Well I think we should not be cocky and stay out of trouble..."

Kat snapped: "Oh, come on! When we met you for the first time Venom was going to kill you, at Crystal Lake first you didn't want to fight Jason and then DeLarge was almost kicking your butt... what kind of superhero are you?"

Rodney's face became much more serious and gloomy, then he whispered: "You're right... guess there's a twilight for superheroes as well..." An awkward silence followed. Then Rodney parked the van and said: "OK, let's go."

When they walked out of the vehicle, Snoopy whispered in Kat's ear with rage: "Way to go, cat! You hurt his feelings!" Mr. Kat frowned...

As greatly requested by Snoopy (and much with Mr. Kat's annoyance) the three animals took a longer way that allowed them to see the National Mall. On their way to get there, while Snoopy was all excited to see a place he heard of countless times and Rodney was still silent, Kat didn't grumble at all despite how annoyed he was... he could be extremely nasty with many people without feeling any remorse, but there was something about Rabbit that made him feel rather guilty for hurting him, he had kindly accepted to save him and his pal after all; as far as he could remember he had never felt such a pain in his mechanical heart, except when he thought about his girlfriend Dr. K still waiting for him... the image of her sad muzzle depressed him even more.

But when they arrived at the National Mall, something immediately interrupted Snoopy's excitement and the melancholy of Mr. Kat and Rodney: something really serious was happening in that highly symbolic place, because there was police everywhere, and a cop was shouting something in his megaphone but it was hard to understand with all that noise...

Rodney Rabbit asked to a policeman: "Excuse me sir, what's going on here?" The cop answered: "I must order you to leave for your own safety, the situation here is extremely dangerous: as we feared, in the end Calypso started a new Twisted Metal tournament right here! And to make things worse now Needles Kane and Dollface are having an argument and if that evolves into a ballistic fight countless innocent lives could be taken, so we, Captain Americat and Little Cheese are trying to persuade them to stop!"

Rodney and the two aliens walked away to try to decide what to do. "You heard that guy?" Snoopy said "He said Little Cheese is there! He's our man! I mean... our mouse!"

"Yes, but... what should we do now?" Mr. Kat asked "Should we wait for this to end? Should we try to help him and that other guy? What?"

Rodney suddenly looked much more determined and he exclaimed: "I say we must put ourselves forward and help Little Cheese and Captain Americat to save this city!"

Kat was astonished. "B-but... wait!" he stuttered "Don't you think you're overdoing it now? Didn't you say..." But the rabbit interrupted him sharply: "You seem to have some problems in making up your mind, boy!"

Mr. Kat knew what he meant to say. "Well... don't you think you are giving too much credits to those stupid things I said to you before?"

Rodney answered: "No, you're wrong. You made me open my eyes. I have powers in my paws that few people have, and it's time to prove myself if I really deserve them, it's time to prove myself if I'm really getting old or not! Now get ready!"

Snoopy and Kat decided to do as he said and Rodney found a place where no one could see him and ate one of his special carrots to become Captain Carrot. Then he obtained from the police the permission to go and join Americat and Little Cheese along with his companions.

The two superheroes were extremely surprised to see Captain Carrot and two unknown animals coming, but then again they were likely there to aid them.

Now that they had joined the fray, Snoopy and Kat could also see how Needles Kane and Dollface looked like: Kane, also known as Sweet Tooth because of his signature vehicle, was a big Grizzly bear with a creepy smirking clown mask and his head on fire (yeah, on fire) who was wielding a large chainsaw, and Dollface was a female peacock who was dressed like a model and had another disturbing mask that looked like the face of some kind of "doll-bird". And each one of them had a plenty of goons with similar freaky costumes.

"Oh, look!" Kane said with his deep and intimidating voice "There are other three nuisances who decided to join the party!"

One of Dollface's female minions giggled and mocked Mr. Kat: "Aww, look at that cute baldy thingy!" Kat growled at her with red eyes.

"Cap! What a surprise!" said Little Cheese to Rodney "After all these years, you show up... here?"

"I know it's not the best place for a reunion" said Captain Carrot "But I thought you needed some help here with these... 'fun-loving' guys"

"Looks like we have more party poopers!" Sweet Tooth snarled with his deep and intimidating voice "This is not a little fight between kids during recess, and you're no teachers! Now get out of the way and let me cut that b***h, before I have some fun with YOU instead!"

Captain Americat tried to implore him: "Please stop, Kane! Don't you realize how heavy the consequences will be if you..." But Dollface interrupted him: "Cut the chatter, Captain Ameri-Suck! I know what you're leading up to, do you really think we care about destroying 'symbols of our nation' or anything when destruction and death is our only way to have our wishes granted by Calypso?"

Captain Carrot stepped forward and said: "Then maybe you will care about having a... bet!" Everyone looked at him, including his allies. Kat looked at Snoopy in a way that asked "What the hell is he talking about?", but the beagle shrugged. Meanwhile, Kane and Dollface actually looked interested. "Lay it on us." the clown said.

So the rabbit explained what he had in mind: "Me and my companions will now split into two, and each group will face one of your gangs. If we win, you'll give up fighting and tell Calypso to cancel the Twisted Metal tournament right away... if we lose, you have our permission to go ahead and terminate each other." All of his allies gave a gasp of horror at what he had just said.

Sweet Tooth was clearly pleased to hear that: "Heh heh heeeh, I like this! I'm on it!"

"So am I!" said Dollface with the same sadistic glee.

"Cap, have you gone nuts in these years?" Little Cheese yelled in disbelief. And Captain Americat exclaimed: "Yeah, this is madness! Haven't you noticed that we're surrounded by dozens of mad guys?"

Carrott replied: "Just trust me, mates. They may be numerous and fierce, but after all they're just a bunch of unintelligent brutes, while we have two things that they do not have: brain and superpowers. And the latter is a gift that not everyone has, so we gotta use it!"

Snoopy pondered for a second and said: "Alright then, after all I cannot think about any other solution, and neither can anyone else by the look of it. So how are we going to split? Who will face who?" Mr. Kat abruptly answered his question: "You guys can take the clowns, I'll beat the bimbos up all by myself!" This naturally resulted in another shocked reaction from the rest of the crew, but before anyone could try to tell him that his decision was suicide, the alien justified himself: "Boys, I'm a hyper-advanced cyborg warrior and I faced much worse foes in my life. I even defeated an army of robots that were as large as buildings, so why should I be afraid of a bunch of chicks who think they're butch just because they have cars and weapons?" In reality he was lying about the army of large robots, but then again, that did serve the purpose of calming his mates down, so... OK.

Captain Carrot remarked: "Looks like we're finally starting to comprehend each other, comrade!" He gave Kat a winking smile, which the alien promptly returned.

"Alright" Needles Kane said "Cut the chatter now, suckers. Clowns, let's... RUN AMOK!" And so the fight between the gang of Clowns and four of the superheroes started!

Meanwhile, Dollface incited her gang too: "Now, sugar cubes... GO DOLLS**T!" And the fight between the gang of Dolls and one single supercat started!

* * *

**To be continued (be patient, sadly it might take this long every time).**


End file.
